Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I think there was an emotional hail storm that came through my body last night while I slept. It left my mood a brown stinking cesspool. I was angry all day long. The day began with some weird dreams involving our old home at 8106 Livingston, horses that nobody would let me ride, and people that I was looking for and couldn't find. Finally, after several terse interactions with people, and after the days work, I went for a walk in the evening. The walking combined with heavy breathing of fresh air as I climbed the side-walked hills of the Avenues, plus talking to calm Lauren on the phone eventually tempered the mood and finally quelled the 9 hours of bad moods I been weathering. I'm glad I survived. In the final blocks of my walk home, after the sun had set, I found some peace chanting these words aloud: "I don't know everything. I can't do everything by myself." While the words are not profound, they helped bring some clarity. Am I sounding crazy yet, or just like my Mom? :)
(Love you Mom!)
(Love you Mom!)
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I have been getting used to my new job at this place. That means I am learning to repeat myself A LOT. I go around to elementary schools and other public venues with a traveling exhibit that resides in the back of a huge truck (I am also the driver of the truck. Today I totally rocked backing out of a parking lot and then parallel parking my truck in it's parking spot. I am adding a new skill to my repertoire: truck driving. Let me know if you need me to drive something for you.) I give a 20 minute presentation to school classes and take the kids through the exhibit, then I do it again 15 more times in the day. And then I wake up the next day, go to a new school, and give the presentations again all over. But don't be fooled: I love my job.
This next picture shows another adjustment: I'm dating a black hole. Just kidding, I'm not dating anyone. Not anymore. I keep wondering if we humans are cut-out for this kind of brutality. Are we designed to keep giving our hearts out to almost-strangers, over and over again, not knowing if we will get it back in the same condition it was given? (What about leaving something better than when you found it?!) I think my heart is going to give out, and be unable to sustain the energy necessary to begin more relationships, which past experience has proven to ALWAYS end in a Challenger-Space- mission-like explosion. But like Celine says, "near, far, wher-eever you are...my heart will go on and on." It wouldn't be right if I didn't acknowledge my wonderful family and friends right now, because they keep answering the phone. Even when they see it's a call from me... and I'm probably going to express some sort of sadness, and a wistful thinking comment about the break-up. And then I'm going to call them again the next day with the same sort of comment. Love you all, thanks for listening to me. Every day. All day.
Anyways, moving on: I'm also moving to a new studio space, that means I won't have to use my bedroom as an art studio anymore! I'm also preparing for an upcoming show in December at the public library in Salt Lake, it's called "Princess Religion." Things are cracka lackin! More art to come! Thanks for reading!