so I went to my full faculty review on Friday. It was in the museum of art conference room. I showed a powerpoint presentation of my work (twenty slides.) It was going okay until someone said, "you haven't talked about your work, or explained it very much yet. Could you talk about that?" That's when I kind of exploded internally. I can't TALK about my work very well, I'm sure the person wanted a nice, concise oneliner "my work explores the idea of spectatorship in our perverse world." I make art so that I don't have to talk. I felt myself getting angry up there in front of all my professors. And then I ended up talking about the recurring dream themes that I always have, how Mossie used to eat cornbread and onions with her friend in a playhouse, how I'm annoyed when people, especially LDS women, don't allow themselves to be upset or feel deeply. Like we're just supposed to be dumb and happy all the time. So I came off sounding crazy AND like an angry biznatch. Great. The faculty asked me what I liked so much about James Ensor. I replied I liked how gross and ugly everything is in his work, and I enjoy his negative social commentary. One of my professors asked, "Does it bother you that people will think your work is negative? tell us about that..." I'm wondering when I signed on to BYU if I signed something that said my work will not include nudity nor will it be negative. Where does it say we will only make "happy" stuff? I didn't anticipate such an emotional response to the review. I think I'm losing it.
Nah, I'm just learning how to talk about my art. Next time though, I'm just going to hem and haw, and give some generic response (Like Bob Dylan in the documentary "don't look back," he didn't give anyone a straight answer.) Better to be safe, than do an emotional vomit. So when you're asked, "How are you?" Just say "Fine."